“Stay In Your Lane”
“Never compare yourself to people’s journey. Their journey is their journey and your journey is yours. So you have to train yourself to just stay in your lane.”
“Jem” ~ Taraji P. Henson
Award -winning actress Taraji P Henson on confidence and overcoming fear (KPIX CBS SF Bay Area) (Youtube published date 3/28/17)
Stock photo source: instyle.com
How many times have we compared ourselves to others? Sometimes in our lives we can have the tendency to feel insecure about ourselves because of the qualities that we think other people may possess or even material things that they have. When I was younger I was a part of this public speaking organization. Every quarter we would have a competition in various genres of oratory which included poetry, pros, extemporaneous, and original presentation. All year round I studied, memorized and practiced my pieces to a tee. I always knew them backward and forward and could literally say them in my sleep. At one of the competitions, while waiting my turn, I became completely engrossed in another competitor and her piece. I thought she was excellent. I began to feel insecure about myself worried that my piece wasn't as good as hers, that I wasn't as good as her. I got myself all worked up and sure enough when it was my turn I completely choked. I forgot everything but my name and was utterly embarrassed. Needless to say I came in last that day in the competition.
We form these subjective opinions, wether good or bad about others and most times those opinions can hinder or help us create a positive or negative outlook about ourselves. The issue that lies in comparing, however, is that it promotes an unrealistic mirage of what and how things truly are. When assessing others, most times we are an outsider looking in, only privy to what we see or think we understand about the person or situation. This can make us either feel unsure, resentful and depressed about ourselves or more highly of ourselves, boastful and better than other people. Both ends of the spectrum are detrimental. Also, a very important aspect to consider when comparing ourselves is that when we do, we spend our time and energy focusing on the wrong person. What we fail to realize is that when we concentrate on others and what they're doing or what they may have we are unnecessarily analyzing, critiquing and or praising someone else instead of using that time to uplift ourselves and celebrate those characteristics that make us unique and special.
If we aren't careful we can subconsciously enter ourselves into an unfair competition, competing with someone that doesn't share our unique path, designed specifically for us. When this occurs we intrude on someone else's course while neglecting our own, and ultimately setting ourselves up for failure. In all actuality, this means that we should only be in competition with ourselves, fully concerned with finding ways to become our personal best. So let's put things into perspective. So what if we're not the best in a particular "thing", that just means that whatever that is, it's not our "thing" so the key is in finding it. What is that talent that we enjoy most, and are excellent at?! Focusing on that along with what special quality that only we can bring to that gift will minimize the need or desire to compare ourselves with others and will help us find our path that we are destined to be on. When we find our niche, it will bring out the very best in us and will become a part of our purpose and who we are.
I encourage you today to consider the fact that we all have our own specific journey in this thing called life. Although it's tougher at times then others please believe that no one can walk your journey’s path better than you.You were born to fulfill your destiny whatever that may be and as business man Bill Gates states, “don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are insulting yourself.” Let us not disrespect ourselves, but simply stay in our own lanes.